If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
