I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
