I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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