There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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