And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
