Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
