guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
