I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
