Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize