She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
did you just send me my own nude
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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