respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
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i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
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Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
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