so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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