I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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