why im i the only drunk person in the library?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I look excited, but its just a facade.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize