my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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