The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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