Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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