I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
