who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I skipped work to stalk him.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i will never coherently bang her
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
