those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I am never drinking with the goths again.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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