I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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