i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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