So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day