I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
My room smells like vodka and shame
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
