Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he was CRYING into my vagina
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i came on her dog
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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