Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
