I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
