I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
