Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
