fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
