He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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