So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
