can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
there was a trapeze. enough said
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize