when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
