What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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