there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
