i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
it's great music for shaving your balls
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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