I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
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It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
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I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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