swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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