ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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