I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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