I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
