I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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