Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
