Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
