I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
she told me i tasted like america
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
