How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
