You just made me feel so damn special
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
