just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
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I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
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Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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