I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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