Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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