you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
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She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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