Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
