She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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