I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
