Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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