a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
