So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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