My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
