i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I stole a fireplace last night.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
